How Americans say NO without saying NO

So often, my Dutch clients tell me that their American counterparts agree to do certain things… and then nothing happens. It’s rarely bad intent, it’s cultural! Americans tend to prefer to stay positive, avoid awkwardness, and keep options open.

A Dutch founder once told me after a U.S. pitch:

“They were so enthusiastic! They said, ‘Let’s keep in touch.’ I followed up three times, but never heard back.”

To her, it felt confusing, even a bit dishonest and fake. But to her American counterparts, they were most likely being polite.

In the U.S., saying “no” directly can feel too harsh. The goal isn’t to mislead, it’s to protect the relationship and keep future possibilities open. Americans grow up in a culture where positivity equals professionalism. “No” sounds final. “Maybe later” sounds cooperative.

Instead of “no,” you’ll often hear:

• “Let’s circle back soon.”

• “Sounds interesting, keep me posted.”

• “We’re not ready for that step yet.”

• “I’ll check with my team.”

Each of these sounds friendly, but often means: “No!”

Why It Matters

For Dutch professionals who are used to straightforward answers, this indirectness can create false expectations. You leave the meeting thinking there’s genuine interest, when in fact, the conversation is over.

Understanding this difference saves time, prevents frustration, and helps you navigate relationships more effectively. Americans aren’t avoiding the truth; they’re following a cultural rule: never close a door completely.

Tip: Listen Between the Lines

When you sense hesitation or vague follow-up plans (“let’s talk soon” without a date), that’s your cue. Try a gentle, direct clarification:

“Thank you. Would it make sense to reconnect later, or should I assume it’s not a fit right now?”

This phrasing does two things at once: it respects the American need for tact and gives you the clarity you need to move on.

Cross-cultural success isn’t just about understanding words, it’s about recognizing what’s not being said and why.

How to work successfully with Americans

Join my workshop “Working Successfully with Americans”, or organize an inhouse workshop. You will learn how to turn these Dutch American differences into advantages, with real-life examples, interactive exercises, and practical strategies you can apply right away! Click here be notified of the next workshop (February 2026) or schedule a call to discuss customized in house options.