The Gratitude Gap: Why “Thanks” May Mean More in the U.S.
“Why do my American colleagues talk so much about gratitude?”
Recently several clients asked me a version of this. It’s a very relevant question, especially at this time of year.
On the fourth Thursday of November, Americans celebrate Thanksgiving. “Everyone” has been preparing for this major holiday the past weeks. The word gratitude is everywhere in the U.S. workplace. Teams send appreciation emails, leaders thank employees for their hard work, and meetings often start with a quick “What are you grateful for?” check-in.
Yet for many European professionals, this tradition can feel…unexpected. Maybe even slightly excessive.
Gratitude in the U.S.: A Language of Positivity and Connection
In the U.S., expressing gratitude is tied to warmth, morale, and emotional connection.
Saying “I appreciate you,” “Thank you for your flexibility,” or “I’m grateful for your partnership” is not just polite, it’s a relationship-building tool.
A few cultural drivers behind this:
Positivity is professional. American culture links optimism and appreciation to good leadership.
Effort deserves recognition. Even when something is “just part of the job,” acknowledgment is expected.
Belonging matters. Expressing gratitude strengthens team cohesion and boosts motivation.
No wonder Thanksgiving, America’s biggest gratitude holiday, finds its way into workplace culture.
Gratitude in the Netherlands: Use It When It Matters
Dutch and most European professionals also value gratitude, but the bar for expressing it is much higher.
In the Netherlands:
Doing your job doesn’t require thanks. “Dat is toch normaal?” is a common reaction.
Gratitude is reserved for exceptional situations.
Overly enthusiastic appreciation can feel insincere.
Where Americans might say “Thank you” ten times a day, the Dutch prefer one well-placed, meaningful “Dank je wel.”
Neither approach is better, they simply reflect different cultural assumptions.
Where This Can Go Wrong
Here’s where misunderstanding often happens:
Dutch colleagues may hear American gratitude as exaggerated or superficial.
American colleagues may interpret Dutch silence as lack of appreciation.
Teams can misread each other’s intentions, even when both sides mean well.
I once coached a Dutch/American leadership team where the Dutch manager said after the completion of a major project, “I already thanked them once. Why would I repeat it?” His American team was demotivated, they thought he didn’t value their work at all.
Thanksgiving as an Opportunity
Thanksgiving is a perfect moment to bridge this cultural gap.
If you work with Americans, a simple acknowledgment takes little effort but has a big effect.
You don’t need to imitate the American enthusiasm, that would not be authentic nor sincere. But you can leverage the moment:
Recognize a colleague’s contribution
Thank a partner for a successful collaboration
Celebrate a team milestone
Send a short note of appreciation
In the U.S., these gestures aren’t just festive, they’re expected.
Bringing It All Together
Gratitude is expressed differently across cultures, but its impact is universal.
Whether you say it often (American style) or sparingly (Dutch style), what matters is recognizing the intention behind each approach.
And there’s no better moment than Thanksgiving week to make that intention visible.
Wishing you a warm, reflective, and culturally curious Thanksgiving, wherever you are.
Ready to bridge the gap?
Join my workshop “Working Successfully with Americans”, or organize an inhouse workshop. You will learn how to turn these Dutch American differences into advantages, with real-life examples, interactive exercises, and practical strategies you can apply right away! Click here to be notified of the next workshop (February 2026) or schedule a call to discuss customized in house options, consulting and coaching.